#566

dun ask me why the sudden surge of posts in a day (and i predict many more to come), but suddenly everything seems so relevant.

Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you?
Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He
didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute
angle.”

During my youth, I had argued with my brother about
everything under the Milky Way. When I went to college, I studied logic
and argumentation, and went in for debating contests. Talk about being
from Missouri, I was born there. I had to be shown. Later, I taught
debating and argumentation in New York; and once, I am ashamed to admit, I planned to write a book on the subject. Since then, I have listened to,
criticize, engaged in, and watched the effects of thousands of arguments.
As a result of it all, I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way
under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid
it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes
…

Nine times our of ten, an argument ends with each of the
contestants being more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely
right. You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it,
you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you
triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that
he is non compos menbtis. Then what? You will feel fine. But
what about him? You will have made him feel inferior. You have hurt
his pride.

He will resent your triumph. And –
“A man convinced against his will
Is of the same opinion still.”
. .
. Real salesmanship isn’t argument. It isn’t anything even remotely like
argument. The human mind isn’t changed that way.”
- D. Carnegie, How
to Win Friends and Influence People